Tricycle

Wednesday had moments of ass kicking parenting ... not the doing everything right and having an awesome time ... the, I got my ass handed to me tantruming kind of moments.

BUT instead of writing out stories about those moments instead I'll focus on two major milestones in our day. 

We snagged a Radio Flyer Steer and Stroll tricycle for TEN DOLLARS from a craigslist seller and luck would have a quick and easy meet up and exchange with the mom selling it. We got it at the beginning of our day before plans to head to the zoo and all Miles wanted was to hold the tricycle. Luckily the penguins were enough of a distraction to delay the triking until we returned home. 

Long story short Miles didn't want to take a nap so he spent a couple hours in his crib memorizing every alphabet book. I told him he could ride the tricycle with Daddy when he got home from work; but until then he needed to rest quietly in his crib. 

But when Daddy got home? OH BOY! It was throw on some shoes and hit the street!

I think we're going to put a lot of miles on that bike. Now I just need to snag a second one to avoid future tantrums (over that). 

The other major accomplishment in our household MILES IS FINISHED WITH HIS PACIFIER! We have a few teething pacifiers that he still chews on but we're done with the traditional binkies. We'd noticed that some of his pacifiers were cracking so I'd been throwing them out as they broke. Then Tuesday after naps I saw the last blue pacifier had a gnawed on hole in the side of the nipple so I trashed it. When I retrieved the last orange pacifier I saw it too had a crack in the nipple. I took it to Miles, got down on my knees and asked him to come over to me. Eye to eye I looked at him and said "Miles? See how your pacifier had a crack in it?"

"Yeah"

"It's broken, it doesn't work any more right?"

"Okay"

"Do you think we should throw it away and be all done with pacifiers?"

At this point he got distracted and started twirling around the living room. I asked him a few different ways if we should be done with pacifiers. After I got one little "Okay" out of him I grabbed his attention and said. "Miles! Let's go tell daddy you want to throw out this broken pacifier."

We went through the same thing with Joel, then as a trio we walked to the kitchen trash can and had him throw his last pacifier away. "Bye Bye" he said as the lid closed on the trash. 

That night he went to sleep without a problem or request for his pacifier. 

Then the next day (Wednesday/today) he didn't want a nap. The evening was a major overtired tear fit fest but he never asked for his pacifier so I count that as a win. He definitely hasn't gone to sleep without it as easily but I'm excited we've made this huge leap forward in milestones and eventually we'll be back on a normal sleeping schedule. 

A couple times during the day he's said "pa pa pie-er" (pacifier) and when I say "Are you talking about your pacifier?" he'll respond "In the trash."

I'm so proud of him. I've been thinking about ditching the binky for months now and was worried about the best way to do it. Waiting for a weekend, boxing them up for the new babies in the world, planting them or giving them to a binky fairy. In the end it was all about striking on an opportunity when it was presented to us and not making a bigger deal out of it than needed be. 

For the first time in 25 months, we're pacifier free!

Summer Refreshments

Grandma and Grandpa are back from California and with a tax convention occupying the rest of Grandma's week we've got Grandpa staying with us for four days. 

That's a whole lotta extra help around the house which means we get to fit in extra fun!

Tuesday was a gorgeously sunny day and after leaving the boys with the grandparents so we could scout some houses for sale we came back to the house for the day. Miles was just waking up from his nap so I motivated him to go on a grocery run with just Mommy. It's been a long time since I've had a "solo" outing (as in only one kid in tow) and it was kind of nice. We'll have to get back to having more one on one time on the weekends and have the boys feel like they get more undivided parent time. 

We picked up some popsicles (real ones not the kid pedialyte push up pops) and fried chicken for dinner and headed back home. Melon was also on the table with dinner and Graham really dug in. 

After a couple cut up bites he wanted a whole slice. Why not?

It took a little coaching to not try to eat the rind. Once he had the hang of it he devoured it. 

And then wanted another slice. Hmmm. Sure! That was gone in another blink of an eye. 

Victory! Fresh summer melon!

After some negotiating with Miles to finish his chicken both boys got to enjoy their very first real bonafide popsicle, with a stick and everything. Well not even negotiating. I left it up to Miles. I told him he had to eat his chicken if he wanted a popsicle. He didn't have to eat his chicken, but if he wanted a popsicle then he needed to eat his chicken first. It took a while. I thought he wasn't going to go for it but when I started talking about popsicles again he scooped up the chicken and started chowing it down. Win!

Victory!

The weather was definitely hot enough that the boys could both have been in shorts and a t-shirt but we're still attached to our jackets ... which worked out well for Miles because he had popsicle juice dripping down the front of his rain coat. 

Once Graham stopped trying to bang his popsicle on the grill or wipe it on the deck he dug in and enjoyed his too. 

A great day all around. I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. 

Getting On Base

We saw it in the theater and we watched it again on rental Monday night, Moneyball staring Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill. It's a great movie, I highly recommend it. You don't even have to be a baseball fan to enjoy it. I'd compare it to For the Love of the Game. A great baseball flick but just as much about the relationships and strategies involved with the game. 

Not to give it away but the general theme of the first half of the game is "get on base". Their number one goal is to get on base. If a player or team worker isn't acting in the best interest of that motive then adjustments need to be made. Some players say their role is to steal bases, others like to bunt or save plays. But you know what? That's against the overall goal to get on base. 

Sometimes parenting is just about being on base. You keep the kids alive. Some plays are great. Some are memorable. Others just get you through the day. 

Graham and Miles didn't care to have dinner on Monday night, but I didn't worry about it. Hubby and I enjoyed our taco leftovers and kept them as calm as we could to stay in their high chairs for supper. Then it was all about redirection. Let's play outside in the nice evening, wear them out. Come back in, change for bed, healthy snack (which they devoured). Off to sleep. 

It's easy to get hung up in the moment. The power struggle over what they should eat, wear, play with or how they should act. I try to remember when times get tough that the current action doesn't matter all that much. It's the overall theme of their days and weeks. Ate a great lunch? Maybe a minimal dinner doesn't matter that much. Refuse to wear a jacket? Take one along for when they change their mind. 

You lost your cool and yelled at them for misbehaving? When things have calmed down, apologize to them and talk about the incident. Then move on. They're young, they'll rebound. There's no reason to hold on to the mommy guilt. Just get them on base and you've done your job. 

Do this and you'll feel so much better when you hit that sweet spot of parenting, when the meals are all eaten up, hugs are given, tears are minimal and you feel like you accomplished more on your to do list then you added. 

You are a good enough parent, you can focus on how to be better, there's no reason to hang on to how you wish you could have changed what happened yesterday. 

Now get out there champ and play ball!

A Sweet Mother's Day

A while back Joel and I decided we'd forgo the gift giving on most holidays and just exchange presents on our anniversary (and Christmas is debatable). With our anniversary in August, my birthday in October, Christmas in December and Valentine's Day in February it was leaving my husband spending half of every year trying to come up with some new gift that I would like and would meet the expectations of how big of a deal to make out of the event. Not to mention it's expensive! We still give cards to each other (and now from the boys) so that we take time to say a thank you and I love you and to show that we hadn't forgotten about the holiday. It's a nice tradition and helps make our anniversary extra special. 

So this Mother's Day I wasn't expecting a piece of jewelry or a gift certificate to a spa. I got to spend the day with my boys and my husband and I got to relax more than normal and do less of the house work than usual. 

On Friday I asked Joel if he would be in charge of breakfast, lunch and dinner over the weekend. I didn't care if we had leftovers, take out or cereal but I wanted a break from the constant work of fixing meals and doing clean up. Recently I've felt like I get the food fixed, get the table prepped, get the boys in their chairs and set up with food and by the time I sit down to eat everyone is finished and ready to get down from the table. It's exhausting!

Don't get me wrong, my husband does his fair share of the work with the boys, but just the mental preparation of always thinking ahead of what's next can wear a person out. Add on to that the recent tantrumie-fussiness of Graham and Miles and I was ready for a brain break. 

So, he did just that. Add in the kicker that he did almost if not all of the diapers for both days and the special treats I got on Mother's Day and it was one pretty good weekend. 

Extra book time with Daddy.

Snacks by Daddy.

On Sunday morning Joel got up with the boys, did their diapers and took them downstairs while I stayed in bed. I fell back asleep and woke up to a "Hey Honey? Breakfast is ready." And when I went downstairs the boys were in their high chairs and Joel was putting a cooked waffle, scrambled eggs and sausage breakfast on the table. 

Graham said "Mommmmy!" and as I sat down Miles said "Thank you. I love you." with a grin on his face. My eyes bugged out a bit and Joel said "That's right Miles. That's what you say to Mommy on Mother's Day." It was pretty much the sweetest thing ever. Apparently he had been talking about it with the boys the night before and rehearsing what to say. 

I opened my card which Joel wrote in and had little spots where the boys had scribbled their color works of art along with little stick figures Joel drew. Apparently Miles wanted HIM to draw a picture of Miles and Mommy but he wanted them to be holding hands. And Graham wanted the same thing too (of course) but wanted his picture to be in green crayon. 

We looked over the card, ate up our breakfast and after some books and talking about our day we turned on an episode of Elmo (a moderately rare treat) and I retreated back to the bedroom for a nap. 

I woke up about an hour later to the sounds of the boys having a fit downstairs and when I came out of the bedroom I saw Joel sitting on the floor trying to change the boys' diapers. One wanted a fresh diaper, but changed their mind when they realized that meant they'd have to take their pants off for a minute. The other didn't want their diaper changed and wanted the world to know. 

I never get pleasure out of seeing the boys give my husband a hard time and I don't like hearing their screaming any more when it's directed at someone else. But there is something validating at seeing a daily occurrence like this from the outside. It made me realize how hard my daily job really is. The sudden unprovoked tantrums, outbursts of wining or quick anger at brother which turns to tears or fighting. It takes a lot of patience and it can wear you down mentally. It's exhausting!

Joel navigated that five minutes in the diaper octagon like the pro that he is and without much delay we were outside and enjoying the day as a family. 

Getting ready for some scoop and dump, lounging and horseplay time. (That's Miles "lounging" in his little red ball cap).

After a messed up schedule on Saturday we decided to put the boys down for a quick and early nap time on Sunday and we were rewarded with the best gift any two toddlers could give their mother. 

Long and peaceful naps!

We finished off the weekend by having dinner over at Nana and Papa's house with Uncle Matt and Aunt Susanne and it was a wonderful evening with great food, fun conversation and laughter with the boys. 

Monday morning is probably going to hit like a ton of bricks, but at least I'm rested up and ready for it!

What Do We Do?

The last two weeks have been one bundle of really fun, really exhausting, really joyful, really frustrating, really silly and giggly and really tantrumy tearfully (there really is no way to describe those moments without making up words) moments.

Graham and Miles are great kids, don't get me wrong, I love them with all my heart and I have no question about my choice to be a stay at home mom but then there's the moments when they turn into TERRORISTS. Little tiny whiney terrorists. They scream for their pacifier, for their bunny crackers, for the orange bowl NOT the purple bowl. They cry because they want their nose wiped (no really, the second Miles starts crying he sobs "wipe the nose, wipe the nose" EVERY single time). 

But then they hug me really tight and want to hold their brother's hand and ask to have a book read and WANT to sit in my lap for the story. They're adorable and they're mine. 

But alas, the last two weeks have been rough. We're thrown off our predictable routine with twin friends out of town, grandparents out of state and changes in our day trying to tour potential houses to buy. Throw on the top of all that those pesky two year molars pushing their achy painful pointy prongs of hell through my sweet little boys' gums and I've got two supper cranky tots to survive. 

Thursday was a gorgeously sunny day and I had this mastermind plan to meet up with my cousin down south for a play date. A good long drive, a couple hours of play and a long drive back. Surely that would eat up a day of "what do we do?". 

It was glorious. The weather was great. The snacks were correct. The boys were in a good mood. 

We played and played with our cousin while the mommas got to chat (Though don't try to ask me what we talked about. Play dates are funny that way. Catching up while keeping an eye on kids always results in broken stories and derailed trains of thought). 

Photo credit: Erin over at http://ekwetzel.com

It was a great time. There was a bit of fussiness here and there but overall things went very smoothly considering the tantrum town we left that morning. 

Photo credit: Erin over at http://ekwetzel.com

We got in the car as Graham was yawning and I offered the boys another gulp of milk and handed them their lovies. By the time I was departing Sonic (another great excuse to go down south) the boys were fading and by the time we were back on the freeway they were zonked. 

I figured I'd get back home and drive around scouting a few houses. But as luck would have it, getting off the freeway was an alarm clock waking the boys up suddenly. Graham was super cute about it though saying "fifty" the second his eyes opened. Which, as I figured out, was his way of saying "Phoebe" our cousin's name. Then when I asked him if he had a good time he said "kitty cat" talking about their cat Scooter. It was a fun outing. 

But now what? What do we do? The boys were awake when I thought they would sleep another half an hour and worse yet, they were getting fussy and asking to get out of the car. 

Nixing the driving tour idea, I headed back home. But we were another hour away from when Joel would be home from work. I really didn't want to go back into tantrum hell by staying at home. We pulled into the driveway, unloaded and went inside so I could use the bathroom. I returned to the living room to both boys squinting and going number two (you're welcome). So, after the air cleared we changed diapers and decided to walk on over to our friend Else's house (okay it's Amy and Phil's house). I was exhausted from the day and I don't know how I would have made it through the last hour without losing it. Enter the shining halo of the Gregersen's backyard. Amy and I got to catch up after not seeing each other for a while. 

Graham and Else do some coloring at her nifty craft table.

The kids got more outside play time and with no solid dinner plans we crashed their evening by having Joel pick up take out on his way home from work. What would have been a painful two hours turned into a fun and memorable evening. I made it through another day as a mom of two teething toddlers and with it being Thursday, I only have ONE day left to get through before another weekend is upon us. 

Thank goodness for friends who have good timing on being available to meet up with us. Erin and Amy, you saved my day ladies!